Most of us never really learned much about how to apologize.  We all know how to say “I’m sorry” of course.  But beyond that, we don’t know what to do or say to seek forgiveness.  When you wronged your mate and want to get your ex back, just saying I’m sorry won’t cut it.

Getting Your Ex Back

There are, however, other levels of apologizing.  There are much more impactful ways of saying Im sorry.  When your relationship has ended because you did something wrong and your ex kicked you out,  you will likely need to make a power apology.

A power apology can get your ex from anger to forgiveness sometimes in minutes when done correctly.  Here are some of the important steps involved in making an apology that can get your ex back:

The first step in a Power Apology is to own up to what you did wrong.  Don’t offer a bunch of stories or try to blame your ex “you were cold to me and I was drunk!”  Fessing up to what you did wrong is powerful, it lets you mate  know that you understand the core problem.

Step Two is to shadow their upset feelings.  This means that you tell them how what you did made them feel, as far as you understand it.  You’ll say something like “I know by cheating on you I made you feel betrayed and humiliated and furious…”  When you shadow or mirror their emotions, your ex will start to feel heard at a deep level, like you truly do understand what you did wrong.

Now you are ready for the third step, which is to let them get things off their chest.  Let them vent.  You don’t want to argue or explain yourself, you just let them talk about how what you did made them feel.  The more they vent, the better.

If you have followed these first three steps, you are well on your way to making an apology that will get accepted and lead to forgiveness.  By this point you have not tried to blame or defend yourself to your ex for what you did wrong.  You have been an adult and taken responsibility.  At some level they will respect this.    Then you have surprised them by mirroring their feelings, so they are feeling like you understand them.  And finally, you have listened to them, let them vent and get things off their chest.

Once you have done these three things, you are now ready to actually apologize.  And your apology will much more likely be accepted, which can lead your ex back into your arms fast.

Tags: relationships

Posted on December 12